don’t trust anybody who compliments your smile. they just get off on seeing the little bits of skeleton poking out through your gums. anybody who tells you you’ve got a nice smile is a certified skeleton fucker.
long-distance friendships are terrible because you can’t meet up with them whenever you want and hang out on any given day which is why when i’m president i’m relocating the entire human population into a 10,000,000 story skyscraper that also acts as a bridge from earth to the moon which comes with the added benefit of swinging the moon around like a fucking mace, god damn it’s gonna look so cool. what was i talking about